There was a time, not all that long ago, when you could tell a jeans ad apart from a music video and a Hollywood director would never put his name on a BMW commercial. But these days, no one advertises. They may promote, plug, or market–but advertising per se appears to be an endangered species. Americans have grown tired of being manipulated with oversize billboards and flashing lights–we want to think we make our own choices–and so the product- promotion industry has been forced to find more insidious ways to imprint their goodies on our gray matter. Now ads masquerade as art and other legitimate forms of entertainment–or, to put it in modern terms, they’re designed to blend in with the content.
Best of Chicago voting is live now. Vote for your favorites »
This past summer I traded in my critic’s license for some much-needed cash and an invaluable education in the world of Internet promotion. Rather than becoming a camp counselor or waiting tables like many of my college friends, I spent seven hours a day as an electronic mole, infiltrating message boards, chat rooms, and other on-line clubs and trying to generate word-of-mouth buzz for the artists on the roster of an independent publicity firm. When I wasn’t dropping Visine into my bloodshot eyes or squeezing one of those little beanbags to relieve hand cramps, I was wincing at the deceptive practices that formed the core of my job: I was paid to pose as a fan of a particular artist or genre of music and to recommend our clients to a specific community of fans to whom I thought the artist would appeal. Sometimes, when whoever I was promoting had a particularly low profile, I didn’t even have the luxury of being selective–I had to bomb as many message boards and chat rooms as possible in the hope that someone, anyone, would latch on.
As I was told from day one, a message is only as effective as its subject line. After all, if no one will read it, it’s completely useless. For the standard high-traffic artist message board, these sorts of things worked reasonably well:
Hey, I really dig Nine Inch Nails and thought some of you might be interested to know about _____. They sound quite a bit like NIN, but never in a derivative or predictable fashion. Their new CD, which is out in November, is sure to be the shot of originality that industrial music has needed since NIN’s heyday. If you want to hear a clip, go here: www._____.com. Thank me later.
Sometimes the job got downright absurd. I was periodically asked to “capture different demographics,” which meant reaching people who would never even think of visiting a music message board or chat room–from bed wetters to frustrated parents to people who paint rocks (I’m not making that up–they have an annual convention). Thinking of a way to bring up a band logically in those sorts of contexts was a feat unto itself. Of course this type of infiltration was the most morally repugnant–I peddled CDs to desperate insomniacs as a cure for sleep deprivation, to rabid Tolkien fans as role-playing background music, and to would-be Don Juans as an aphrodisiac. Other, more ambitious summer grunts suggested on teen message boards that one CD might be effective in pissing off mom and dad and another was a good sound track for getting high in the garage, but I felt I had to draw a line somewhere.
