Paul McComas founded Rock Against Depression in 1995, hoping “to both honor the work and legacy of Kurt Cobain and educate his young fans about how to avoid his outcome.” A writer, performance artist, and musician, McComas and his band–which had until then specialized in punk originals and covers of old X songs–learned a bunch of Nirvana tunes, rechristened themselves “Lithium,” and booked a midwest tour of community centers and other all-ages venues at which McComas planned to talk to the crowd about depression and suicide in between their renditions of “Rape Me” and “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” That spring McComas, then 33, was poised to hit the road when he was himself overwhelmed by despair.
Best of Chicago voting is live now. Vote for your favorites »
“I knew the warning signs pretty well,” says McComas, who studied literature and psychology in college and says depression runs in his family. His months-long struggle with the illness–which he now calls “an utterly transforming experience that forced me out of some bad patterns”–was triggered by problems at work and a friendship that was on the rocks. “It’s a small miracle I didn’t collapse sooner,” says McComas, who quickly got help, recovered–with the aid of Prozac–and started the tour as planned.
After 27-year-old Dayna Clay, his burned-out protagonist, cuts out at the end of her successful American tour, flies home, and tries to asphyxiate herself in her Bucktown garage, she starts driving west, winding up in the Badlands of South Dakota. There, with the help of antidepressants, solo climbs through the rugged landscape, and the love of a good woman, she rebuilds her identity.
