Pageant
Looking like a stocky Ken doll with his sprayed-stiff yellowy coif, lavender tux, and blinding white teeth, emcee Frankie Cavalier (Kurt Sage) serenades and ushers in the six Miss Glamouresse finalists, to be judged by a panel selected from the audience: Miss Deep South (Kevin Barthel), dressed like Scarlett with a voice like Dustin Hoffman’s Tootsie; Miss Bible Belt (Sean Blake), a sassy little Baptist who believes that if the Lord provides for the lilies of the field, she shouldn’t have to worry about oily skin; Miss Industrial Northeast (Scott Alan Jones), a colorful Latina who dreams of “frrrrreedom for all peoples”; Miss Great Plains (Dustin M. Lewis), a down-home Iowa girl who’s happiest when she’s breeding livestock; Miss Texas (Stephen Stockley), a seasoned vet who works the emcee, judges, and audience as if she were born in a tiara; and Miss West Coast (Miles Western), an Est graduate and double Gemini who tie-dyes her clothes (and, we strongly suspect, inhales the colorant).
