Lead Stories
Al Gore was elected by write-in votes as director of the Marion County (Oregon) Soil and Water Conservation District board, but was disqualified because he owns no land in the district. And in Hartford, Connecticut, Terrell Bush beat out Johnny Gore to become homecoming king of Weaver High School.
Best of Chicago voting is live now. Vote for your favorites »
Recurring Themes
Wayne’s World
A judge in Thornaby-on-Tees, England, granted John Turner a divorce after a 38-year union, persuaded by testimony that Mrs. Turner compulsively rearranged the furniture every single day they were married. A man in Pune, India, who claims his 47-inch fingernails are the world’s longest, announced he wanted to sell them to a museum for $200,000. A 20-year-old hotel parking attendant in Dana Point, California, drove a guest’s $175,000 Ferrari into a palm tree, totaling it. A federal judge in Austin, Texas, rejected a fraud lawsuit against Penthouse, brought by a convict who felt the magazine exaggerated how revealing its recent nude pictorial of Paula Jones would be. The judge rendered his decision in verse.
