Lead Stories
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Retired systems analyst James C. Schaefer, 64, recently self-published an autobiography chronicling his struggle with “Wisconsinaphobia.” He developed severe back pain while living in Milwaukee in the 70s, and though it subsided after he relocated to San Diego, anything that reminded him of his home state–a car salesman with a Wisconsin accent, the logo of a Wisconsin company (Harley-Davidson), a Wisconsin-made product (Jockey briefs), even a public utility truck (he’d worked for the largest utility in Wisconsin)–triggered a bout of debilitating anxiety and insomnia; if he tried to make plans to visit family in Wisconsin, his back pain returned. Schaefer says he’s now “90 percent” cured, after intensive therapy.
In February in Kent, Ohio, police visited 35-year-old Crystal Lynn and asked her to modify the “inappropriate snow figure” in her yard–specifically, they wanted her to do something about its breasts. At first she draped the figure’s bosom in a ruffled tablecloth, but once she realized the officers were merely passing along a citizen complaint, she took it off again, saying she felt “insulted” by the whole business: “It’s just snow.”
According to police in Jonesville, Tennessee, 30-year-old Gary Lee McMurray was arrested for grand larceny in February after he phoned Debra Letourneau of Long Hollow (who was at the home of another man at the time), explained that he had her upper plate of false teeth, and told her that if she didn’t pay him a ransom he’d stomp on them.
A Nation at War
Art accompanying story in printed newspaper (not available in this archive): illustration/Shawn Belschwender.
