Decision 2002
Best of Chicago voting is live now. Vote for your favorites »
A few months ago I responded to a letter from a woman complaining about her boyfriend’s taste in underpants. He wore only tighty whities, and she insisted that they were a major turnoff. I disagreed. On the right man–a slim, boyish, hairless man–TWs are about the sexiest damn thing that can happen to a guy outside of Ashton Kutcher’s mouth. At the end of my response to Ms. TW-phobe, I encouraged readers with slim, boyish, hairless boyfriends to send me pictures of them in their TWs via E-mail. Why? Because it’s my column, and when you’ve got a column you can get away with that sort of shit. At the behest of my readers I decided to turn my idea into a beauty contest of sorts, with the person who sent in the sexiest pic winning a trip for two to Las Vegas. When readers complained that I had a bias–a handful of clearly delusional readers insisted that big, manly, hairy guys look sexy in TWs too–I agreed to let my readers vote on a winner.
Voting was supposed to commence July 4, but my goddamned lawyer “suggested” I get signed releases and photo IDs for all the men whose pictures I was planning to post. It’s a good thing I listened to him–some of the photo subjects had no idea that their significant others had entered them in the contest. While some were delighted to give their consent and see their white-cotton crotches splashed all over the Web, others were,
Hmmm…maybe MENSA’s right…maybe
You’re right, DYKE, this contest does discriminate against lesbians. Two thoughts. First, tough shit. Second, if I promise to make it up to you, do you promise not to report me to the Human Rights Commission?
And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for…
