This question concerns both sex and etiquette: How much privacy can one reasonably expect while engaging in consensual sex in a sex club? While visiting one of those open-to-the-public establishments that cater to men who want to get off with other men, I saw an uptight but openly gay prig who is a member of my social circle. I shared this fact with a straight friend while dishing the dirt over cocktails. She blabbed it to others.
I forwarded your letter to Judith Martin, aka Miss Manners, who regularly tackles etiquette questions in her very fine advice column. Alas, Miss Manners has not, as of this writing, done me the courtesy of responding. Therefore I shall, with your kind indulgence, wing it.
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My older sister is marrying the father of her six-month-old. The problem is, until last year she was a lesbian.
As for your sister, LAS: While you can’t stop her from getting hitched, nowhere is it written that you have to play along with the homophobic amnesia. Tell your sister that unless she knocks off the put-downs, you will seize every opportunity to remind her, her husband, and your dear ol’ dad just what a world-class carpet muncher she used to be. And when the dumb breeder’s child is old enough to understand carpet munchin’, you’ll make damn sure the kid knows mom spent several years facedown in deep shag.
ASOOD: Try looking in the mirror when you’re not high. CD: It might be a good idea to drop the girlfriend, get away from the fundie, and start realiz-ing your all-consuming “fantasies” before you turn 30.
