I have sex toys that I’ve only used once or twice. I can’t return them, but I can’t bring myself to throw them away. Is there a secondhand market?
I like to jack off with something up my ass. Unfortunately, I can’t order a butt plug on-line because my college roommate is a Christian. He would go into a preaching marathon if a package from a sex shop arrived. Can any household items do double duty as butt plugs?
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“Have you ever thought of getting a PO box?” says Ellen Barnard, owner of A Woman’s Touch, a sex-toy shop in Madison, Wisconsin, where she often sells to college students. If you’re too chicken to even do that, Ellen says your kitchen is a good source of double-duty plugs. “You can carve a sweet potato into a plug–but don’t forget to carve a flared base, and be sure to put a condom over it. Or use the handle of a potato masher, a knife sharpener, or anything else that has a flange or flared base so that you don’t lose it inside yourself and wind up in the ER.”
–Looking to Sell a Vibrator
It has come to my attention, Mr. Savage, that you promised to give Katie a Hitachi Magic Wand. You owe her the wand, Mr. Savage. It is conduct unbecoming an advice columnist to promise prizes to your readers and then not give them.
But since it’s impossible for me to be impartial on this matter, I’ve gone to the trouble of assembling the Supreme Court of Sex-Toy Retailers. The five justices will visit Katie’s Web site, confer, and then issue a verdict. Their decision will be final, and I pledge to abide by it. So do I owe Katie the Magic Wand? Or should Katie fuck off? The Supreme Court ruling is expected next week.
