After watching a few episodes of Mind of the Married Man on HBO, I thought I would go out and try to get a massage with a “happy ending.” I looked through the yellow pages and classified ads and found a massage “spa” in a neighboring town. Heart full of hope, I went to the spa, and found it to be encouragingly low budget and almost dingy–but clean. The Asian woman who greeted me (and who was the only worker in the place) asked if I would like a shower and massage. I was sure I had found the right place. Sadly, I was mistaken. The shower consisted of me showering myself. The massage, though it was very relaxing and soothing, ended more like a shoe shine. I went back the next week, in case she was worried that I was a cop or something, and got the same nice massage with no happy ending.
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In addition to avoiding places that use “therapeutic” and “AMT certified” in their ads, you should also avoid massage therapists who describe themselves as LMPs (licensed massage practitioners) and “spas” that use tasteful line drawings of trees or streams in their ads. What you should be looking for are images of sleazy-looking women with big hair–think Nagel.
But if you want a hand job from the nice lady, STROKEME (well done!), you’re gonna have to ask her. Here’s the code: After you arrive, and after the woman gets a feel for whether or not you’re a cop, ask her this simple question: “Do you offer erotic massage with release?” Yes, it sounds creepy. That’s because “happy endings” are creepy; in your situation, the creep factor can’t be avoided.
So what do you say when she’s blowing you and you’re getting close? When you’re reaching the point of no return, simply say, “Oh, baby, if you keep doing that, whoa, I’m gonna come…” If she redoubles her efforts, that’s a sign that she wants you to come in her mouth. But you’re not off the hook yet: when you’re past the point of no return–when you’re actually beginning to come–say, “Oh, baby, I’m coming…” Then it’s her call. In her mouth, on her face, in her hand, over her shoulder, right back at you–she’s got ahold of your cock, and once you’re coming she can point it and shoot it wherever she likes.
