My boyfriend of one year phoned me to tell me he almost cheated on me. An old girlfriend invited him back to her house. The only reason he didn’t, he said, was because he had too much homework (we are both university students), not because he loved me too much to do such a thing. Then he asked what I would have done if he had cheated on me. I told him that I would have dumped him–a response he found harsh. I’m only 20, but I am really in love with this boy, so obviously I am hurt and confused by this. What is going on? Should I dump him?
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Absolutely. When your boyfriend told you that story about “almost cheating on you,” he was sounding you out on the subject of cheating. He was no doubt hoping you would be OK with the idea, or hoping you would respond, “Instead of you sleeping with this girl behind my back, maybe we should have a three-way?” You said no such thing, telling him instead that you would dump his ass. Which means, of course, your boyfriend knows enough now not to tell you when he does cheat on you–and cheat on you he will, if he hasn’t cheated already. I don’t doubt that your boyfriend is a lovable guy. Lots of guys who cheat are perfectly nice, and there are lots of perfectly nice girls out there who might enjoy having a perfectly nonmonogamous relationship. You’re not one of them, however. Dump him.
–Frustrated Postie
As for your comfort level with pussy licking, Senator Boxer, I would like to point out that you’re a woman. We may both be attracted to men, but your familiarity with your own goods would naturally make you less squeamish about women’s goods in general. While it’s unlikely I would ever achieve the same comfort level with women’s goods, if confirmed as Deputy Assistant to the Attorney General for Sex Advice, I shall strive to achieve a similar comfort level. Thank you.
And, hey, speaking of brown puddles: Jason, a student in Manhattan, begged me to send a confidential message to Darren. Darren, you’ve been on the cover of Honcho, you work out at Crunch, and you tend bar at Barracuda. You know that kid who works out at your gym? Cute? Blue eyes? Well, it seems that he has a crush on you. What’s more, Darren, he wants you to tie him up and slap him around a little.
