The votes are in. They’ve been counted, recounted, and…actually, I’m going resist making the stock Florida/hanging-chad/Republican-coup jokes. After all, this is serious business: What term, from this day forward, will be the commonly accepted slang for a woman fucking a man in the ass with a strap-on dildo? Three candidates stood in this election: “bob,” derived from Bend Over Boyfriend, a popular series of how-to-fuck-your-man-in-the-ass videos; “punt,” for kicking the ball to the other team; and “peg,” after a device once used to, uh, keep the butts of some very unlucky boys gaping open. Thousands of people took the time to cast ballots–12,103, to be exact–and many included impassioned pleas for their candidate. So before we announce the winner, let’s hear from the voters:
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No offense, Dan, but hey, Aunt Peg, fuck you! Pegging is too great a term to be eliminated so as to avoid offending one of your family members. Bobbing is too evocative of the action done by a person performing oral sex (“his/her head was bobbing up and down”), and punting gives the false impression that there’s a foot involved somehow. Pegged, on the other hand, just seems to beg the addition “my ass.” As in, “My girlfriend pegged my ass last night.” The fact that it’s a woman’s name makes it all the more appropriate.
–David M.
–Paid Attention in School
“Last night she pegged me.” “Last night she bobbed me.” “Last night she punted me.”
When you first suggested a term be coined for a sexual act that specifically applied to a woman doing something to a man, I wondered why we had to be so specific. After all, the terms fucking or fisting or kissing don’t specify the gender of the actors. Then I saw the advantage. My husband (like most straight men) can’t break the connection between being fucked in the ass and being gay–but a gender-specific term might help! If you’re gay and another man is fucking you in the ass, he isn’t punting you. You have to be straight to get punted. A woman has to do the job. I vote punt!
