I am a 28-year-old straight female with a great boyfriend. I want to share all my fucked-up fantasies with him–and I have, so far, except for one. I have these bizarre fantasies about him overindulging in really bad food and gaining weight. I am not a chubby chaser–if he got fat I would not be attracted to him. But whenever he complains about gaining weight or tells me he was “a total pig today,” I’m outrageously turned on. I’ve had dreams where he just keeps eating and eating, and I wake up on the verge of orgasm. What the hell is this? Have you ever heard of such a thing? –Feasting and Tasting Sends Orgasms
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People who get off on stuffing their sex partners with unhealthy food and watching them grow are called “feeders”; people who get off on being stuffed and getting fat are called “gainers.” The feeder/gainer fetish goes hand in hand with fat fetishism, of course, although there’s more to it than that. We live in a society that’s deeply conflicted about fat and food–we’re not supposed to be heavy, but many of us are; we’re not supposed to eat junk food, but many of us do. Intentionally getting fat, or “forcing” someone to get fat, violates taboos about what we’re supposed to find attractive, and since being fat isn’t healthy, being a feeder is subtly sadistic. By getting your boyfriend to eat a lot of crap, you’re pleasuring him and hurting him at the same time.
And third, your best guess–that the pictures were taken and posted without her knowledge–is based on who she was back when you two were together. It seems equally as likely that she’s more open and more adventurous these days; after all, she did tell her new boyfriend that she’s into bondage. Like a lot of kinky people, your ex no doubt finds it easier to talk about her kink every time she tells someone new; along with this newfound ease, she may have a newfound sense of adventure. She may very well have posed for those pictures willingly and given her boyfriend permission to post them–hell, she may have posted them herself.
I’m guessing that you’ve done these things exactly, oh, zip number of times, WYCF. Well, those are the sorts of things that many gay men get up to–too many gay men, not all gay men. Fucking your boyfriend all day, every day? That’s just dandy, but that’s not what I was talking about. Straight women as a general rule won’t have tons of sex with tons of different people, although most are willing to have tons of sex with one at a time. Men, on the other hand, will have tons of sex with tons of different people–or, I should say, gay men will have tons of sex with tons of people, and straight men would if they could but they can’t because women won’t.
