I was listening to the radio today and Rick Santorum was mentioned. The first thought that popped into my head was, “Santorum? That frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex?” and not, “Santorum? That conservative prick?” Your column has worked the new meaning so far into my brain that it pops up first! –Santorum Hits in Total
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Some of the mail is from readers sick to death of reading about santorum–senator and stain–in my column. To the santorumphobes, I say this: there are other advice columns out there–fine examples of the genre, from The Ethicist in the New York Times to Dear Prudence on Slate to Real Estate Reality Check in the Vashon-Maury-Island Beachcomber–and none of these would touch santorum with a ten-foot pole. (I can’t, however, vouch for the columnists themselves never having left santorum on a ten-foot pole.) Santorumphobes in need of an advice fix are advised to turn to one of these other fine columns, because this week’s Savage Love is awash in santorum.
Straight people have anuses, don’t they? Butt? Of course! And guess what? Straight people pump out a hell of a lot more santorum than gay people.
And now…the new Web site, where santorumphiles can track the spread of santorum, thus sparing santorumphobes from ever having to read “that frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex” in my column ever again. Santorum sightings, links to Web sites that mention santorum, information on getting the word into The Oxford English Dictionary, and much, much more can be found at www.spreadingsantorum.com.
