I’m a woman in an LTR. Recently I had a discussion about anal sex with my guy. Knowing that I was a little nervous, he was GGG and let me experiment on him first. Well, it worked out great, and we both found pleasure in anal play. However, last time I was fingering him I felt something different than normal. Instead of soft flesh I felt something rough and uneven inside him. It took a moment, but I realized it was probably a shit! He didn’t realize what was going on and wanted me to go deeper. I kept pleasing him, without going deeper, until he came, letting him enjoy the moment. But now I don’t know what to do: Was that actually a shit in him? Is that normal? How should I handle a situation like that if it happens again? –Wary About Butts Now
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Look, lady, anal play is swell, and there are rewards for men and women willing to explore their rear ends. I speak of the kind of blue-state pleasures that can only be derived through the expert manipulation of (1) the butt’s delicate nerve endings, (2) men’s prostate glands, and (3) women’s mysterious clitoral “wings” (the exposed bit of the clit is not the “man in the canoe,” ladies and gentlemen, only the top of the man’s hat). The deliciously naughty sensation that comes with bursting the whole butt taboo is not to be underestimated either. But it’s still an ass you’re playing with, WABN, and barring radical elective surgery and a lifetime of changing colostomy bags, shit comes with the territory. This isn’t something anal-sex fans celebrate (save for a few sickos), just something they come to grips with. So, yeah, that was shit you encountered, WABN. Get over it.
I read your column about the scared-of-her-evil-scientist-fantasy girlfriend, and I feel compelled to add a non-sex-therapist woman’s perspective. I agree that your sex therapist didn’t have anything helpful to say, but it’s possible that no amount of sex-fantasy role play is going to help this man with his underlying problem: he’s just not happy with the amount of sex he’s having. I think the evil-scientist-fantasy guilt is an excuse, plain and simple–I know, because I’ve made similarly lame excuses. The mundane truth is that some women don’t have high sex drives, at least compared to their horny boyfriends. If this relationship is the best he’s ever had, he should compromise with his girlfriend and work on other ways of getting off. –Been There, Tried That Line
