I am an attractive 25-year-old female, and I often fantasize about having sex with two men at once. The guys I’ve dated wouldn’t even consider it. But perhaps it is best to do this with strangers in case you feel like it was a huge mistake afterward and never want to see them again. I am thinking about taking an ad out in a local paper, but what about safety? The boys might get carried away, and I doubt the police would be sympathetic when they learned I was fucking two strangers I’d only just met in a hotel room. Do you have any suggestions?
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Before I walk you through the plan, I wanna clue you in: While none of the men you’ve dated were into boy-girl-boy three-ways, rest assured that there are men out there who fantasize about them. (Think bi guys, gay couples curious about women, and straight buds who enjoyed Y tu mama tambien a little too much.) And though men into boy-girl-boy three-ways are scarce, women into them are even scarcer. So you’re going to be in demand, HISF, and that means you’ve got the power, and that means you’ll be able to make demands on the guys who answer your personal ad. Shit, you can make ’em jump through hoops and crawl through broken glass.
OK, here’s the plan: Place a personal ad, sift through the responses, and then arrange to meet the men who interest you. For your own safety, tell them you’re going to need their full names and both their home phone numbers. Do not invite them over to your place, do not give them your name and phone number, do not make plans to have sex at your first meeting. Your first meeting should be a short getting-to-know-you session in the middle of the day in a public place. If you click with a pair of guys, call them back after your meeting and tell them to book two hotel rooms. Why two rooms? Because on the night the big three-way goes down, a friend of yours will be staying in the hotel room across the hall.
–I Need a Bigger Dick or I’m Leaving
I realize I’m too late for your “answering some personal questions” column, but if you could squeeze me in I’d appreciate it. If you could have any three people alive today over for an intimate, leisurely, conversation-filled dinner party, whom would you invite? If you could have any three people alive today over for a wild sex party that would begin immediately after the dinner party, whom would you invite?
OK, so there’s not a lot of overlap, and I suppose that means I’m a desperately shallow person. In my defense, EROS, I would point out that Florence King and Katha Pollitt are both women, which disqualifies them from attending any sex party I might host. As for Paul Krugman, well, I’ve never actually laid eyes on the man. For all I know Krugman is my type–skinny, tall, boyish, old enough to vote–but somehow I doubt there are many prizewinning economists out there who look like Ashton Kutcher. However, if Krugman does look like Kutcher, he’s more than welcome to stick around after dinner.
