In a recent column you mentioned that three lesbian friends had run off with men. “One…is married to a man,” you wrote, “another is living with a man, and the third is a man.” You observed that none of your gay male friends had run off with women, and asked, “What is it about being a dyke that’s so easily shrugged off?”
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I think the same phenomenon is at work among female human primates. When a young woman leaves her home for college or military service, developing a solid friendship with another woman can facilitate that move, and sex cements new friendships. Exclusively lesbian behavior, however, reduces breeding opportunities, so a women will eventually turn to the kind of sex that results in babies. So women have lesbian sex first because of the social advantages, and then turn straight because of the breeding advantages. And evolution demands every advantage. –Darwin Is as Darwin Does
I’m sorry, but dykes aren’t chimps, and dykes don’t have to run off with men in order to breed. The dyke bonobo who wants kids is stuck; she has to mate with a boy bonobo. Where else is she going to get a load of that hot bonobo spunk? But the dyke human female? There are sperm banks all over the country, and for the dyke who can’t afford artificial insemination, well, there’s no shortage of drunk guys in bars anxious to give the stuff away. Sorry, DIADD, but your explanation doesn’t do it for me.
To answer your riddle, “What is it about being a lesbian that’s so easily shrugged off?” I had to consult Feminism for Dummies. Lesson 1 says that girls are taught their whole lives to put the good of the Group ahead of their own desires, while boys are taught that their desires are the Roots of Progress. And whether the Group is your family or coworkers, the Group is much happier and more comfortable with girls who are helping to fulfill boys’ desires. Girls who do are rewarded for keeping the Group happy and comfortable, while girls who pursue their true, carpet-munching desires are punished by the Group, in big and small ways, for having the gall to do what they want to do even though it has nothing to do with boy desires or progress. Face it, Dan, there really aren’t many incentive programs out there for us carpet munchers. That is, besides the sheer joy of it.
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