I am a gay, healthy, native dude from the midwest attending a sleepy university. I’ve got a great group of friends and a pretty well-rounded social life. With school and all the organizations I belong to, you would think that I was swimming in a sea of eligible gay men to escort to the local hoedown. Unfortunately, I am not attracted to many gay men, nor the gay scene itself. I know it is self-defeating, but I can’t end this cycle. I am tired of seeing everyone but me with a boyfriend. What would you suggest?
Now, the advice: You don’t like gay men, you don’t like the gay scene, but you want a boyfriend nevertheless. You know what, SD? I don’t much like the gay scene either, nor do I like very many gay men–I don’t like very many people, period. Like everyone else on earth, I’ve met thousands of people in the course of my life and only bothered to become friends with a few dozen. Why is that? Because gay or straight, SD, most people are picky when it comes to friends, scenes, and lovers.
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We all agree that groping without the consent of the gropee is wrong. If Ahh-nold out in California did the dirty deed, he should be brought to justice. But as a happy guy who has never groped a woman without her consent, I have a different hypothesis: Say I’m out shopping. An attractive woman approaches, makes eye contact, and we exchange smiles. Then she slowly and furtively reaches over and caresses my privates. Call me a perv, but frankly, I wouldn’t mind a bit. In fact, it would make my day. Betcha most guys would agree, but sadly, if the genders were reversed, betcha most women would not.
I’m pro-choice, SIS, which means I respect your right to choose–you can, if you get knocked up, decide if you’re ready to be a parent. If you are, you can have the baby. If you’re not, you can have an abortion. It’s your choice, it’s entirely up to you, and everyone–including your boyfriend–has to respect your choice.
Thanks for sharing, Bewitched, and thanks to Sonic Uke for immortalizing santorum–that frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex–in song. Let’s keep spreading the word, kids, and soon santorum will be on everyone’s lips.
