I am a 30-year-old male, married to a woman for five years. Our sex life is average, with sessions typically including a little oral and mutual fondling, followed by missionary-position intercourse. My wife has requested a spanking from time to time, which I have reluctantly given her. Recently on our shared credit card bill I noticed a weird charge. I called the credit card company and they informed me it was for an adult Web site. When I looked at the Web site it was all about rape. I was horrified. My wife has mentioned fleeting fantasies about being raped, which I dismissed because I can’t even think about it. To me this is disgusting, nonsexual behavior. I am even afraid to mention to her that I know she’s been looking at this stuff. Is this what she really wants?
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Is this what your wife really wants? I don’t know. Let’s review the evidence: she’s asked you to spank her, she’s told you she fantasizes about rape, she’s downloaded rape-fantasy porn from pay Web sites. You know what, Perry Mason? It’s what she really wants. There’s probably a good reason why your little-oral/mutual-fondling/missionary-position sex life isn’t exactly burning holes in your sheets. I suspect that your wife, having spent the last five years dropping hints, is in some despair over whether you, her lover, will ever help her realize these fantasies. Not only is she bored with her sex life, she’s probably come to resent your inability to take the fucking hint already.
It’s no accident that she paid that fee with your shared credit card. She wanted you to find that charge and find your way to the Web site; it was one more goddamn hint. Now it’s time to ask your wife to share her fantasies with you. Don’t make faces, don’t judge, and don’t tell her she’s disgusting. Just listen. Then promise her you’ll do what you can to make her happy, but for your own sanity and safety you’re going to have to take it slow. I doubt very much she wants you to beat the shit out of her or hold a knife to her throat; all she probably wants is to be held down, fucked hard, and called names. It may look a little like rape, it may sound a little like rape, but if it’s what she wants then it’s not rape.
–Crack Creamer
Hopefully your ex-boyfriend caught this column, HIW. Now unless you hear from him, which seems unlikely, I would advise you to think of yourself as single and date accordingly.
