Every week I read your column. I figure that since your loyal readers tell you so much about ourselves and our sex lives, it would only be fair if you told us more about yourself and your sex life. So what do you like in bed? What turns you on? What do you look like? –Savage Lust
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My relatives do know what I look like, so that I can share with you, SL: I’m 28 years old, 5’11”, I weigh 160 pounds, and I have blond hair and green eyes. I have a swimmer’s build, wear a lot of Prada, and sport a large opal on my right index finger. Oh, and I look fucking hot in a pair of tighty whities.
Speaking of which…
–Did Dan Do the Deed?
People read your column for fun and to laugh at the freaks. Don’t waste our time with “compassion” or “good advice.” I hate it when you get all helpful. When you’re mean, you’re funny, so you should be mean all the time. –Be a Dick
