You’re a dick. I’ve been enjoying your column for years, but your reply last week to “Confused in Ohio,” who was worried about her boy-porn-perusing boyfriend, is typical bi-phobia. I thought you had laid your bi-phobia to rest when you finally relented and acknowledged that yes, there are lots of bisexuals. But now you are back to your same old agenda, the agenda shared by so many other people who desperately want to make themselves “right” by projecting everyone else to be the same as they are.
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For me, AA, that long-time-to-reach, sometimes-doesn’t-get-there stuff was the “not bisexual, gay” red flag. One reader who agreed with my take chided me for not giving proper emphasis to this revealing detail: “You failed to mention, Dan, that CIO’s boyfriend’s sexual stamina…is probably due to the fact that she doesn’t really turn him on and/or he has trouble fantasizing about his chat-room buddies when he’s in bed with her.”
So let’s emphasize it now: CIO’s boyfriend, unlike a truly bisexual dude, doesn’t sound very passionate about heterosexual sex. The fact that he was able to fuck her does not, AA, “make it clear that he’s not gay.” If fucking a woman proves a man’s not gay, then I’m not gay. Like almost all gay men out there, I have successfully fucked women–I had to think about guys the whole time, and I didn’t always “get there,” but I managed.
–Been There in Iowa
Finally, like many men, I found that the second I actually came, this thing I had been fantasizing about–being “forced” to swallow my own come–struck me as not nearly as good an idea as it was the second before I came. –My Two Cents
