Hey, everybody: I’m on vacation, and this column is a repeat–but a very, very special repeat. I recently told a woman who signed herself Confused that it was unreasonable of her not to give a few blow jobs to save her marriage. The mail has been pouring in ever since from angry women (and their fathers), all insisting that no woman should give head if she doesn’t dig it. When I replied that oral sex is now standard and not some bizarre kink that a guy has to feel guilty about expecting or asking for, even more mail poured in.
Best of Chicago voting is live now. Vote for your favorites »
I am a 24-year-old female and my husband is a 37-year-old male. I have a very serious problem when it comes to our sex life: My husband doesn’t give me any foreplay or oral sex. I ask for it very nicely–how much I would like for him to do it–but it just don’t get done: his knees always hurt, or he has a backache. Backache or not, he likes for me to do him. Lately I’ve been thinking of seeking comfort from someone a little younger.
Could you give me some of that clever rude advice on how to ask him in a shitty-ass way to give me some head? –Backed Up
I’ve been with the same man for a wee bit over a year now, and generally I’m pretty happy with him. He says he’s crazy about me, and I believe him. But there’s one problem–he won’t eat me out! He says he doesn’t like the way it tastes. On one occasion he said, “I won’t eat something that tastes like chicken and smells like fish.” Do you have any ideas or incentives for him to submit to pleasuring my nether folds with his beautiful tongue?
I’ve tried the personals and met some guys, but no one I was physically attracted to; and the few times I was, they never called again. I get frustrated and wonder what I’m doing wrong. Do I need psychological guidance or do I need to lower my standards and settle for someone I’m not really attracted to for the sake of having a relationship?
- Anal fisting? Enemas, enemas, enemas.
