I have been seeing a guy for about four months who recently moved to my city from out of state. A contributing factor in his move (although not a major factor) was getting on with his life following the breakup of a long-term relationship. He keeps saying that he does not want a girlfriend, is not ready to be in a committed relationship, and he refers to me when talking to his coworkers as a “friend.” However, we have plenty of amazing sex, go out on dates, and basically conduct our lives as if we were boyfriend/girlfriend. He’s even met my parents, and just spent Christmas and New Year’s with us.
Amazing-sex shyness, however, isn’t something many men struggle with. Here’s what I suspect is really going on with your parent-meeting, date-going, amazing-fucking friend: He’s using the alleged trauma of a nasty breakup–do you have any independent proof that this ex even exists?–as an excuse to keep from making even the smallest commitment to you.
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I suspect my boyfriend of five years is gay and staying with me for appearances’ sake. We live in a very prejudiced town. The sex is great, but he is really into having a finger in his anus and he has a “hurt me” attitude, enjoying it when I use strong fingers on his back or spank his ass. How can I find out if he’s gay?
The ladies will thank you.
Send questions to Savage Love, Chicago Reader, 11 E. Illinois, Chicago 60611 or to letters@savagelove.net.
