I just read your response to Disabled Dilemma, the man who was trying to find a girlfriend for his disabled friend. You told DD that his disabled friend should “reconcile himself to being alone.” I’m not sure how to react. Part of me wants to call you a cold, mean-spirited fuck. The other part of me wants to commend you for refusing to sugarcoat the truth.
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While it’s tempting to reconcile myself to a life alone, I still maintain some hope. So I understand your response, Dan, but I wish you would have not sounded so bleak. It’s hard enough being disabled without having negative attitudes reinforced by a writer who probably doesn’t know anyone with a disability. At the very least, Dan, you could have told DD to actually make the effort to take his friend out to meet people. DD’s pen-pal idea just sets his friend up to be bombarded with E-mails from people who are motivated by pity. People with disabilities don’t deserve to be objects of pity. Disabled people should be treated like anyone else. –Mark
I don’t go easy on anyone in this column, Mark. Christ, I write 52 columns a year kicking the living shit out of able-bodied people! And in the spirit of treating a disabled person like I would treat anyone else, I was blunt with DD. Was my advice painful? I don’t doubt that it was, but I didn’t write it with malice.
Thanks for sharing, you sensitive motherfucker.
In this week’s column, Crip Babe prefers “able-bodied partners and/or those who don’t drool,” and Mark takes comfort when he sees “people with disabilities who are in happy, healthy relationships with able-bodied partners.” I’m not saying that Crip Babe or Mark are shallow–God forbid–I’m only pointing out that disabled people are subject to the same cultural biases as the rest of us. People who want others to “see the beauty within” should take off their own blinders.
