Hey, everybody: After I mentioned a sexual fantasy of mine in print a few weeks ago– Brad Pitt coming all over Ashton Kutcher’s face–a reader suggested that I devote an entire column to other people’s fantasies. Upping the ante, I decided to have a contest, with prizes going to readers whose fantasies were selected for publication.
Best of Chicago voting is live now. Vote for your favorites »
But! I love contests, so I’m replacing the sexual fantasy contest with a bigger, better contest with bigger, better prizes! See if you can guess the nature of the contest as you read this week’s column…
OK, so I’m an 18-year-old girl and I’m a virgin and I want to find some random guy to have sex with. Is that wrong?
My son recently came out as gay. I’m from the city and I’ve known gay people, including some lovely couples, but my born-and-raised-on-the-ranch husband refuses to believe two men can form a lasting bond. He thinks all homosexuals are promiscuous and lonely, and he’s worried for our son. I’ve told him that not all gay people are like that. –Montana Momma
Jealousy is a passion with which those most afflicted are least worthy of love. No couple should allow their associations to develop into an engagement and marriage if either one has any inclination to jealousy. It shows invariably a want of sufficient confidence, and that want of confidence, instead of being diminished after marriage, is liable to increase, until by the aid of imagination and wrong interpretation the home is made a hell and divorce a necessity. Jealousy is always the sign of weakness or madness. Avoid a jealous disposition.
I’m so certain no one will win the grand prize, I’m going to offer a not-so-grand prize to anyone who correctly identifies four of the five. The prize is a trip to Reno, “the biggest little city in the world,” on me. Finally, anyone who can correctly identify three of them gets a subscription to the Weekly Standard. (If more than one person sends in a winning answer–impossible! not gonna happen!–one winner will be selected at random; that person must live in the continental U.S. or Canada. The deadline for entering is March 31, 2003, to give everyone plenty of time to do the research.)
