I’m hoping you can help me. My boyfriend wants nothing more than to have me pee on him. I really want to do this, but my body will not cooperate. I’m usually able to pee whether I feel the need to or not, such as when the doctor needs a sample, so this is very frustrating. I’ve tried the obvious, like drinking tons of water, but it didn’t help. I’ve tried sitting on the toilet until I start to urinate, then stopping and running back to squat over him, but that didn’t work either. I want to do this for him so badly! Please help, I’d do anything for this guy!
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The sex toy in question is called a Joy Rider, and it’s basically a toilet seat on springs. It’s a little hard to describe, so I’m going to send you to the Mr. S Web site (www.mr-s-leather-fetters.com), where you can find it under “miscellaneous.” (There are also a few pictures of a good-looking guy sitting on another good-looking guy’s face; don’t say you weren’t warned, straight folks.) While the Joy Rider is usually used, as one Web site puts it, “to facilitate oral sex, rimming, and penetration from unique angles,” it might also facilitate pissing all over your boyfriend.
Here’s how: You’ve been peeing in one basic position since you were about three years old, and you were taught to regard your urine as filthy; it’s waste, and we don’t dump waste on our loved ones, now do we? So when you’re trying to let go as you squat over your boyfriend, you’re faced with the challenge of not only peeing in an awkward position but also overcoming the ol’ don’t-piss-on-your-loved-ones taboo. Buying a Joy Rider, PISS, will allow you to sit your ass down on one very bouncy toilet seat, close your eyes and imagine that you’re sitting on a toilet somewhere, doing your business where your business is supposed to be done. This, I suspect, will do the trick, and you’ll finally piss all over your boyfriend. And hey, once you’re done, you can use your Joy Rider to bounce up and down on your boyfriend’s dick or face, as God Himself intended you to bounce.
Sebastian’s right, SPREADS. Be very careful who you let ram a speculum into you. I always am. But where and how do you meet trustworthy speculum rammers?
