I am an 18-year-old student. I have trust issues. I have been with my boyfriend for ten months now, and he’s very supportive. I am not a jealous person or a controlling head case–I have no problem with him going to bars or clubs with friends, going to parties when other girls are there, having conversations with other women, etc. However, I have an uncontrollable fear that he’s going to cheat on me. I break down crying and have anxiety attacks every two days or so when the idea that he might cheat pops into my head. I have this problem in every relationship. I’ve trusted all my boyfriends in every other aspect and let them do what they wanted, but I just can’t help feeling as though they’re going to cheat on me, something none of them ever did. Do you know if there is any way I can overcome my phobia? –Infideliphobic Dominatrix Experiencing Anxiety Severely
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I would advise you to regard cheating the way you no doubt regard something else you can’t do anything about: death. Surely you’re aware that you’re going to die; we’re all going to die. And why don’t you run around in a panic about that? Because you refuse to obsess. You put it out of your mind. You live, as we all do, in a state of denial about death. Oh, you may think about death every once in a while, IDEAS, and you may consciously avoid doing dumb things that might hasten your death (smoking, shooting heroin, voting for Ralph Nader), but most of the time you live in pure, unalloyed, comforting denial about your certain demise.
I know your liberal heart means well, Dan, but the response you gave to SAUDI typifies much that is wrong with the Western attitude toward the Middle East.
To paraphrase the UN’s Universal Declaration of Human Rights, I believe that human rights are universal, man. As Saudi Arabia exists in this universe, I think that the humans there–Muslim or not, liberal or conservative, male or female, gay or straight–are entitled to full human rights. Until that day comes, SOS, I’m going to go right on thinking that Canada kicks Saudi Arabia’s ass when it comes to morals and values. And bud.
