I have a recurring fantasy about having a threesome with my husband and his brother. I’m not interested in other men, and I’m not interested in my in-law without my spouse’s involvement. So how do I bring this up? Or will the aftermath of even asking be too weird to live with? –Obsessed With My Brother-in-Law
Hubby: (Half listening.) “Really?”
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Wife: “Well, in it I was having a three-way with you and your brother!”
Wife: “Isn’t that crazy? Nothing like that had ever crossed my mind before but, boy, was I enjoying myself in that dream!”
Hubby: “That’s disgusting!”
Good luck.
I, too, am certain you will get tons of letters from amateur psychologists scolding you for your response to Call Me Shallow, the man whose girlfriend put on weight. As a professional psychotherapist, I wanted to back you up on your advice to the unhappy boyfriend. Your distinction between long-term marriage and a short, early relationship is apt. More importantly, we often believe that it is only right to stick by our friends and loved ones when they are depressed–which is true, of course, providing that our loved ones are getting help with their problems. And though commitment and support in relationships are crucial, one of the worst things we can do for those with untreated and unacknowledged depression or mental health issues is to be silent and pretend that nothing is wrong.
