Driving for Thrills in McHenry, IL
Just past the castle to the north, the vague edges of the Volo Bog begin; a little way off to the right is the approximate location where the dead guy was found. Continue west around the bog, then take a right on Brandenberg Road. After another pair of right-left twists, you’ll come to the bog’s formal entrance; even absent a corpse, the bog is worth a look. Past the gate, the road curves sharply to the right; after that, take a left on North Stanley. This seemingly dead-end street actually trickles around a couple invisible corners, then widens slightly into Hell II, probably the most dangerous road on our itinerary. Huge-trunked trees line its treacherous, rutted length, which winds relentlessly up and down, jerking left and right, a jaggedly perfect obstacle course. Running Hell II is unsafe at any speed and completely exhilarating; it’s only called Hell II because we found it second.
Miller crosses the Fox again, then becomes Bull Valley Road; follow it a long way west, past the Logan’s Run-like Centegra Northern Illinois Medical Center, until you reach Crystal Lake blacktop, called McHenry Avenue by citizens of Crystal Lake and Crystal Lake Avenue by citizens of McHenry, the burgs it connects. (Other portions are called Walkup, for some reason or other.) Take a left, then the first right, onto Mason Hill Road.
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When Valley Hill hits Bull Valley Road, take a right and plow back east until you reach Barreville Road, which extends downward from downtown McHenry’s Green Street. Take a right, and continue south to West Justen Road. Take a left, and coast around yet another sweeping S curve, after which you’ll break out into a straight stretch, the entrance to Hell I (see below). On the right is another miraculously restored barn and stable, in our day a steer-skulled relic we’d taunt each other about in classic fashion: “Hey, let’s check out that old barn.” Pause. “What–are you chicken?” One night we pried off a board and slipped in; what we found was a creepy Evil Dead-style first floor choked with gourds hanging from the ceiling and a loft with a bizarre shooting gallery complete with bullet-scarred mannequin. We got the hell out.
As you drift past the northern fence cordoning off the Outdoor’s parking lot, note the No Passing sign on the right; now as then, the shoulder is no lower than the road, with just enough room between sign and fence to briefly pull off and do a minislalom. Called “sign action,” or more correctly “getting a little” thereof, it’s the easiest of the boneheaded stunts we undertook in our driving tours of haunted McHenry. If it’s quiet and there isn’t much traffic, you may be tempted to get a little yourself before you continue west to Route 12, then south, and back to more familiar parts. –Brian Nemtusak
Legislators and lobbyists aren’t as chummy as they used to be, but you might spot some dining together at The Exchange (314 E. Michigan, 517-319-4500), where you can cap off your steak with a top-shelf scotch and a cigar. Senators and reps who just want an after-session drink go to Kelly’s Downtown (203 S. Washington Sq., 517-484-5007), which also has high-end scotch–with term limits, they have to live like big shots while they can.
