One of the best handicappers I know is an ex-nun who married a horseplayer. Mary Schoenfeldt goes to mass every day, but one afternoon a month her husband Creighton drags her to the racetrack. Creighton bets on horses 364 days a year and would do it 365 “if they were open on Christmas.” But this is not a source of friction in their marriage.
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She filled out her entry, then sat down with a book of crossword puzzles and a devotional to pass the 25 minutes between each race. She bet $2 to show on each of her selections–“Creighton always says you’re supposed to get a winner, but at the last moment somebody else can get up there”–and recorded all her wagers on a square of notepaper. Every time she won a bet, she drew a smiley face next to it.
The handicapping contest covered six races. Mary picked five winners. (Read “Durbin’s Line” in the Tribune and let me know the next time he picks five winners in six races.) She split a $2,250 prize with two other canny handicappers.
Later, Creighton implored his wife to join him in a three-day-long handicapping tournament over Kentucky Derby weekend. She demurred: “I’d miss out on mass and communion and my holy hour,” she said.
“Here I am with this first- or second-grade way of doing things, and these people have computers, and we come up with the same thing,” Mary marveled.
So she’d also bet $2 to win, place, and show on the horse with the second highest number of check marks, Buddy Gil. She’d done the same with her third-best horse–Funny Cide. Funny Cide went off at 16-1 and paid $34.20 for every $2 bet to win. It’s not just how you pick your horses. It’s how you play them, too.
